So today was Thanksgiving..
Not only was it Thanksgiving but this was the Holiday Joey and I always spent together from the minute we met. I haven’t had a Thanksgiving with Family in such a long time because my mom always worked nights so she was almost never off for it so tonight was the first night in yearssss that I spent a Thanksgiving with her and it was really nice. My brother’s still really bent about our friend passing so he stayed home.
Today didn’t feel as crazy as I thought it would. I think it’s because I was kind of late to the dinner and had to work until 8pm and didn’t get out until 8:20ish and the drive was another 20 minutes so I was rushing and didn’t really have time for my thoughts and emotions.
Today was actually a good day considering it was Joey and I’s holiday but I was definitely feeling nostalgic about him not being here. The only thing I could think about was how this day exactly last year we were at our friend George’s house and he had burnt the shit out of the Turkey so we ate mashed potatoes and stuffing. It was the funniest shit ever and I won’t forget that horrible smell that lingered when I first walked in lol.
I’m grateful for so much this year overall. There’s been allot of bullshit and allotttt of personal issues going on with me that I won’t and never will disclose but I cannot express how thankful I am to have the bestest of friends in my circle. I really am blessed and SO thankful for the people who have been there for me the past couple of weeks. Like I’ve said in the past; When Joey passed away I felt like that “friend” feeling went down the drain. I know I had great friends being supportive but since he was so close to me it felt like a partner passing away. It hurt, it still hurts I still miss him but I’ve verrrrry slowly put that away and have focused more on what’s going on with me. Life goes on and I’ll never forget him but I do have to continue to move forward..
I’m so thankful this year for all my friends. For anyone who has just reached out to me and said kind words. I’m thankful for my friends being supportive of me and for helping me and giving me the best advice a boy could ever ask for. If you ever wonder where I get my strength it’s through God and my friends. If it wasn’t for both I would be so lost in life. I’ve realized that the more I talk to my friends about everything that I don’t like to bring up I feel like I gain more strength and I’m able to gather enough fight in me to keep fighting. So this holiday is not going to be about me it’s going to be to all those people who have shared some personal stories with me for all those people who felt my loneliness and took me in their arms and helped me feel home. I’m thankful for those late nights talks with some of you because of the fact I was scared about everything going on with me or depressed about the people I’ve lost this year etc..
We might not talk every day, we might of only talked once, I might of stayed the night at your house, you might of gave me a big hug because I was upset, we were there for each other through tough times. You all know who you are and I’m thanking you from the bottom of my heart and I hope you can feel my love with all these words I’ve said. I love you guys ❤