It’s Saturday and I managed to get up late today and rest up. I was able to go to Starbucks for their happy hour @3pm. I made sure to grab 2 Venti Macchiatos since I know how long it will take me to write this blog lol.

For the past month I’ve been trying to figure out where I want to travel to. I think this whole sad situation is definitely getting worse before it’s ever going to get better. I’m having separation anxiety where I come to realize he’s really gone and start to feel really shitty all over again like the day I first found out the news. Depression is a very strange thing. I’ll be fine all day and all it takes is 1 thought or go to 1 place we went to together and I’ll be a mess all over again.

Since things are still pretty rough and still fresh I figured now would be a good time to book a trip somewhere far far away to decompress and understand how I’m feeling. I need to really get in my head and heart and figure out what I need to do to help myself heal a little bit more. I’ve been working to the point of tears trying to save for this trip and to hopefully come back with a little bit more clarity on life itself.

During the time of me thinking of traveling, my bank sent me a travel credit card offer. Told me I’d get double points if I spent a certain amount within 3 months of receiving the card. I wasted no time, I opened that fucking credit card and booked all my shit on it right away. I want to focus my life more on traveling and not so much on buying stupid shit I don’t need.

When I started to think of destinations I knew that I wanted to go somewhere cold and gloomy or tropical and by the beach. I was thinking Hawaii, London, Paris, Thailand or Greece. I couldn’t figure out which one would really give me the solace that I’m looking for right now. So I went out one night with a bunch of girlfriends from Cosmetology school to the Golden Tiki, a bar here in Vegas. I was going through their drink menu and noticed they had a drink there called Blue Lagoon. I remembered that there’s a hot spring in Iceland called Blue Lagoon that has been on my bucket list for 2 years. Immediately I was like “I’m going to Iceland” I looked at flights with my friend Tyson and he helped me find the flight that was the most reasonable.

SO

I’m going to Iceland!

I’ll be there February 12th-18th. I chose these dates because I wanted to make sure I was out there for Valentines Day…

I felt like next year I need to fall in love with my surroundings and with another country. Things have obviously changed for me so Valentine’s Day is going to hold a completely different meaning for me right now.

I booked my Airbnb 2 nights ago because I was really waiting for a place to pop up that would be in the middle of everything and have a nice view of the city and that’s exactly what I found. I found a spot in downtown Reykjavík that has a view of the city and of the mountains so I could see the sunrise and sunset. I was looking at reviews of the place and apparently this particular apartment is always booked and there’s always some sort of wait for it so I feel really lucky to have been looking at the time I was because it’s gorgeous. Let me just say that booking a trip to Iceland is seriously A LOT OF PLANNING. I mean, I’m sure booking any trip international requires a lot of planning but I felt Iceland you have to really play your cards right because it’s such a remote country. They don’t have Uber just taxis so you have to be very smart about where you’re staying and if the tours you’re doing can pick you up from where you’re staying or at least somewhere close by.

The Planning

I was trying to be smart about the trip and since I knew I was getting into Iceland around 6am. I booked 1 night at a hotel by the airport so that I could do the Blue Lagoon that same day since it’s 20 min from the airport hotel as opposed to 45 min since my Airbnb is far. I’ll go straight to sleep once arriving and then wake up in the afternoon and go to Blue Lagoon until closing. The following day I’ll take a cab down to where I’ll be staying and stay in Reykjavik the remainder of my stay. It works out better instead of going to my Airbnb first and then spending more money going to Blue Lagoon and then back. I have other tours I want to do but I haven’t booked them yet because I’m still trying to strategize with which tour will help me see more of the country. I want to pack the tours  all in 2-3 days so that the rest of the time there I can just walk around and explore the city alone. I’m praying that I’ll be able to see the Northern Lights because I think that would really complete the trip.

I don’t think this trip will help with the fact I miss Nick every day but I’m just praying and hoping it gives me solace to be able to move on and forgive myself somehow. I like to believe that this is a calling. I really feel that there’s something in Iceland for me. It’s almost like a feeling of buried treasure. Like, you have a good idea of where it might be so now you just have to go and start digging. Hell, I wonder if I’ll fall in love with the country and maybe I’ll consider moving someday. After all, I love the cold.

I want to just come back refreshed and ready to start a new chapter in my life. I’ll be going commission once I get back from vacation and will be ready to take on a new chapter at work as well. Time to start really growing up and piecing my life together. Luckily I feel that next year I will be more in a spot that I’m happy with myself and happy with where I’m at in life. It’s hard for me to feel fully satisfied because I want to keep doing more and more but I think next year will really help with that.

If you know anyone or you yourself have been to Iceland and have tips for me, please feel free to share in the comments below so I can continue to prepare myself for my trip! And yes I will be taking LOADS AND LOADS AND A FUCK TON OF PICTURES. I’ll try to write while I’m out there and keep everyone updated on how the trip is going.