A Different Form of Love

So tonight my roommate and I Jorge watched this movie called “If I Stay” and I must say to start this off, yes it was super fucking sad lol.

If I Stay
If I Stay

The movie is about this girl who has a passion for playing Cello and she and her parents get into a car accident and the people who love her like her friends and family all come to talk to her in the hospital to help her heal and so on.

It was really touching because it really makes you think about the people you care about and what if that happened to you. Like most movies they get into your head and make you think about situations like this. I like to think of them as “what would you do situations” because they’re deep thoughts.

After the movie was over Jorge and I got to talking about things that have happened to us in the past. He opened up again about his past and the things he went through as a kid and I told him the things I went through as well.

He asked me if I’ve ever been in love and I told him yes and then he asked me again and it made me think. I feel like I have with the first REAL boyfriend I ever had but there was more bad than good in that relationship so it’s really hard to say. I want to say yes but I want to say no. With how much I’m going back n fourth thinking about it I’d say no..

I have a different form of love now that I’m older. The more I think about love, the more I think about all the places I want to visit and all the beautiful places in the world that some people don’t ever get to see whether because it’s money or just busy with work. The main question many of my friends ask me is “Are you ever afraid of not meeting the right person” my response is fuck no. I have a loving family and loving friends and I’ve said it before. That’s all the love I really need in my life because it’s more then anyone could ask for.

My form of love is by finding all the beautiful places in the world and falling in love with them; to fall in love with nature. If I find the perfect person to share these beautiful experiences with and be together forever with then I’d truly be blessed and I would want to share that with them. I just feel like me personally, I have to be strong independently and by being strong I mean I have to treat myself to all the beautiful things in life first so that if I ever meet the wrong person then I can say I visited all these great places first. I don’t want to share beautiful things with someone that will tarnish the experience for me forever.. I think that’s what I’m afraid of the most; someone fucking my beautiful experiences up.

I view my love life as a precious forest or jungle.

There’s those forests with huge beautiful trees that aren’t touched. There’s all types of wild animals and waterfalls but all it takes is one person to cut a tree down to bring in reinforcements and take apart its beauty because they want to use it for personal reasons or just destroy it. I don’t want that in my life so I’m extremely selective with who I allow in my life. I’m welcoming to all but very few get to really know me. I like to show my friends the beauty life has to offer and the laughs it provides when things get tough. That’s why I feel allot of people come to me when they’re going through a breakup or are just feeling down because I’m never really sad at all. I get lonely but I’m not lonely. I just wish some people would understand where I’m coming from with some things but it seems it’s really difficult for some people to move on or appreciate life for what it is without being in a relationship type of thing.

Love to me isn’t necessarily a touch or a kiss but a brush of wind against me or that deep feeling of appreciation for life itself you get when you see beautiful mountain’s formed in such a unique way.

If I were the only person left on earth with no one else in it and never got to experience love then the only thing I’d be left with is nature and nature alone. I tend to always put my mind in isolated situations like this so that I can fully grasp what I want to make out of my life and which direction I want to go when something like love occurs.

Loves everywhere in my opinion. ❤

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