Well, I definitely want to start this off by saying that I hope everyone’s Christmas was a success. Mine really was! I’m just happy this year for everyone who has came into my life and decided to stay. This year really wasn’t all about spending money for me because I got a better job that allowed me to spend on myself on all the things I’ve wanted. Sure there’s more things I want but so far I’ve provided myself the little things I’ve wanted and I’m content with that. I think people get confused about Christmas.. It’s not about gifts and food it really is about spending time with those you care about and the ones who have expressed care and love to you.
I can be very materialistic and find comfort in allot of things I buy and get as gifts but all of that doesn’t mean shit to me if I’m not happy. I can be very cold and dense but in my true nature, I tend to care about other people more than I do myself. I find that I put myself in situations allot of times where I rather take the bullet for someone than someone take it only because I know how to deal with things in my own way and figure I can sort out whatever problems instead of having someone else go through them.. I rather feel guilty for something going wrong because I feel it was my responsibility to BE responsible about whatever the situation may be just so that someone else doesn’t feel stressed. I don’t put myself in allot of crazy situations but I do take pride in my work and who I am and know how to handle pressure well, very iron-willed. I know that certain people do need to learn certain lessons’s but that’s why I observe every situation and act in a manner where things will play out a certain way for someone to get the point of what I might be trying to show them. I don’t manipulate anyone or anything I just read others well and know when I need to do and act on things a certain way to get a result.
So this Christmas I decided to invite a couple of friends over who weren’t doing much or were going to be alone. It was good to just relax at home with my family and friends. Nothing crazy or too exciting just friends dinner and video games.
This year seriously was smooth sailing for me. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and this year was by far the best in yeeears. I’ve had to endure so much if you guys had read my previous blogs and have been dealing with a ton of bullshit every year since I was 13. It’s really sad and scary to me that when I look back on some of these past years, I was just so miserable and such a loser.. But I’m just now noticing now that these past couple of years have sucked so bad but I was ALWAYS so optimistic about everything, I was always looking ahead and past bullshit knowing and believing that I would eventually get ahead because no bullshit lasts forever. I never lost faith and never lost sight of my goals. Things pass and allot can change in just a matter of years you just have to go out there and work your ass off for it and I hella fucking did this year. I really put myself out there and brought out this completely new person in me that I’ve never met before. I’ve reached a higher level of awareness and pay attention to the way people say things. I normally let a ton roll off my back but that’s because I laugh about everything and am so naive to the way people might treat me that might be fucked up, when I look back and think on it. So I’ve definitely had to stand my ground and speak my mind more than usual but that’s what makes me who I am. I know what I want and I know what I won’t put up with now and I will be a loud bitch if needed..
But this year really went up for me. I grew, I got a better job and I bought a new car. I realized so much about myself. I learned and changed some of my faults that have really fucked with me growing up since I can be extremely stubborn and hot headed.. It’s hard for me to winde down when I get really angry about something and it becomes personal but I’ve learned to change that and analyze if it’s even worth getting so worked over..
But I can’t be anymore grateful for what this year has brought me. I really do feel that God just put everything and everyone important in my life this year. I feel like he really handed things to me and saw how I would deal with them and what I would do and almost everything handed to me I took and really just made the best out of.
But… With some good there does come some serious bad
In October I was diagnosed with a bacteria called H-Pylori.. The bacteria is common in just about anyone. Most people get it as a kid and it grows with them but doesn’t bug them. Only about 20% of people show symptoms for it because it won’t act or grow in most people. The bacteria can be passed in certain situations depending on the toxic levels in your body and if you don’t keep your mouth clean. So it can hide in your teeth cavity so if you have a partner it’s recommended to rinse your mouth with salt water every day until it’s gone and to brush your teeth and use mouth rinse. But it’s mainly passed through fecal matter just like hepatitis A. The bacteria attacks the lining of your stomach and begins to target other parts of your body as it grows. If it grows it begins to clog your bodies natural detox systems which means your liver begins to process everything and your immune system can begin to get confused and weaker as it grows leading to autoimmune disorder. The bacteria ultimately causes ulcers, that’s it’s objective but leads to cancer if untreated… Everything else it fucks with is all from being untreated. I’ve been on antibiotics for a good month now with only 2 weeks total of a break from them.
I’ve had to change my diet and cut out certain foods such as Dairy Gluten and Soy and include more vegetables and meats that have a good source of protein. It has been said and proven that sulfurophane (the nutrient in broccoli) completely eradicates H-Pylori so I’ve been loading up on it! Sulforophane also protects against cancer and other diseases.
Overall this bacteria has just shown me how poorly I eat allot of times and how I don’t really take care of my body as well as I should. So it’s definitely been a turning point because I’m not trying to die from a bacteria in my fucking stomach. I’m a fighter and I don’t go down easy so I’ve been beating the shit out of it lol. If the bacteria had a face, I would technically be beating the shit out of it because of how much I’m putting my body through to piss it off and get rid of it lol. It’s a stubborn bacteria and it’s smart so it finds ways to linger.
I’m just happy..
Life could get better but the progress I made this year has been the most I’ve made in years and the most progress I’ve made as an adult. Just have to keep pushing now and working my way to the top. I do things carefully, slowly, and patiently because I want my results to be solid and REAL, no bullshit or bullshit strings attached to what I’m aiming for. So I’m going to just keep climbing. My birthday is next month and I’m definitely ready for 23!
Quote of the Day
“They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them..”