I can’t believe how long its been since I last blogged..Dang, I’m way behind on this shit.
I guess I should start off by saying I’ve noticed allot has definitely changed since the last time I wrote and I’ve realized allot by just looking back on this entire year..
I’ve made a fool of myself about allot of things but I’ve learned from every mistake I’ve made this year. Change doesn’t come quick but when you put effort into it and allow yourself to change you realize allot and become more mature and smarter about situations. It’s a great experience when you understand it I don’t see why so many people are scared of it.
I’m no longer in a relationship and for the first time I understand what happens when you’re with someone for so long.
You begin to rely on this person for happiness and comfort and you become so sensitive to things because you revolve everything around love and care, you kinda become a big sap. Then things end and you fall on your ass and don’t wanna get up but you realize you have to be strong on your own all over again and that’s the shitiest part of it all so you have no choice but to get up or stay on the ground..
It feels like something gets stolen from you when you lose that one person you care about..You know that someone ran away with what was yours whether it be your heart or feelings, you know they’re going to keep it and it’s something you really cared about..Instead you know you’ll see someone else with it and it’s gonna break your heart when that happens if you still care..
It sucks big time and sometimes time heals everything but other times time just leaves a big void in your life as well.
It’s funny when you get asked about relationships because sometimes you’ll think WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING TOGETHER? but that’s because it’s so easy to give advice but when you yourself are in the same situation it’s not that easy because you realize how tied your feelings are and how strong your love is so depending on the situation depends on if you have to be the stronger one and walk away or once again work on things..
I guess this has just all happened so I realize more about my life what all I need to focus on and what all I need to change about myself, I think I’ve wounded my character and need to repair some parts up to be happy.
I believe your character is a file. Whatever you do horribly wrong goes into that file and if you don’t take steps to make that easier to have it removed from your file it’s going to stay in your file and that’s where you get looked down to because then you become that person everyone watches out for and doesn’t like. You’re character is what makes you or breaks you and if you’re completely unaware of who you are or what you are then you’re gonna fuck up so bad that you get looked at as someone completely dysfunctional. Sure you shouldn’t care what people have to SAY about you but you should be a little worried about what they think because word of mouth gets around faster then the truth does and if you can’t handle yourself or know how to stand your ground you’re gonna get beat the hell out of.
I’ve made mistakes but the great thing about me is that I change and struggle to change more and more to become a better person so depending on what wrong things I do I’ll always do whatever I can to change and make things better and if I keep fucking up then I’ll keep trying. As long as you’re not dead you have all the time in the world to change.
You have to be a valiant, completely fearless and completely strong in what you do in order to move forward and show people you’re not scared and are the best you can be.
I’ve always been the one to defend people and be the one that stands in front because I know how to handle myself and know how situations play out and how they work and that won’t ever change because there’s so many people out there that beat on people that are weaker or just try to fuck with people because that’s their personality, that’s why I’m always there to back up whomever needs help and anyone that knows me will understand that about me. I’m frail and very easy going but when I dig my feet in the ground and bring out the horns, It’s on.
I’m not trying to sound full of myself I just hope we all learn and change for the better and learn to be the ones that stand up for others when they need help to help people out that might need us or just really can’t stand up for themselves. It’s all about give and take..
I talk too much about change, shit. lol
Quote of the Day
“Being too young is just an excuse because you’re only getting older, if you’re not changing then you’re not growing”