Missing A Friend

I don’t even know how to start this off..

Lets start off by saying that today has been a year since a friend of mine died..

Ian was someone i was really really close with,he was someone special to me cause of his charismatic and outgoing personality,his way of caring and loving and his humour,everything really.He never wanted anyone to feel left out he was equal with everything and everyone.I got to meet him 2 days after my birthday in hollywood and did the whole 9 out there and got drunk on the streets.I didn’t get to see him as much or hang out with him as much as everyone else did and i know the people that did get to be there with him are shattered because of this but at least i got to meet him.

Losing him was heart wrenching since he was someone i counted on for everything, i trusted him and he trusted me,  someone i went to with what was going on with me.He was always there for me and we always came up with all kinds of wild ideas like sharing boyfriends.We could talk about anything and turn it into something huge, which is how we became friends.

The day i found out he died was shocking, so unreal because i had never really lost a friend.I wouldn’t believe anyone until i started getting phone calls and IM’s at 10am.Normally when people die i feel sad but i don’t really cry i try to cause i know you need to get those feelings out there and not bottle something up like that, i feel its wrong.

As I was explaining to my mom what happened it all just came out..I knew then and there that deep down he really did mean a great deal to me..Everyone who he did hang out with though, should of stopped doing what they were doing(whoever knew him knows what im talking about).I would explain what happened because it would make more sense but i don’t believe thats respectable through a blog.The cause of his death should of had everyone thinking twice before doing something and it disappointed me to find out everyone was still keeping on with their habits acting like nothing ever happened and not even showing up to his funeral.I would of taken a fucking bus if i had the money and was able to go..

So what i’m really trying to say is that i miss him more than anything and that i love the boy still.I still keep him on my top friends and go to his page occasionally even though i know he won’t read the comments i post or update his pictures and such..It just makes me feel like he’s still somewhat there..Or at least a part of him.Maybe sometime soon i’ll visit a psychic again or something and see how he’s doing..

R.I.P Ian ❤At the tattoo shop Inked candy in Hollywood..

(From Left) Ian,Me,Cody, and Eden


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Alli says:

    Ah. One of the hardest things a person goes through. It’s horrible losing a friendship, but actually losing the friend through death is the worst feeling in the world. It’s like everything you know is gone and you’re left alone… I’ve lost a friend, we weren’t extremely close, we didn’t really hang out, he was more of my brother’s friend. But he was one of the nicest people you’d ever meet… I’m not exactly ‘popular’ and back in those days I wasn’t ‘in’ with the crowd. He was, but he was still nice to me. Something I admired about him… The day I found out he’d passed, wow… I can’t even began to re-imagine the intensity of the emotion that was going on inside my head… That moment when you actually break down completely, it’s such a mixture of feelings. It feels good to let things out, and it’s good for you. But a lot of times it’s hard to do that most of the time. With me, I don’t feel comfortable doing it,if you feel the same way maybe this blog will help you in that area.
    I didn’t know Ian, but he sounds like someone who was a really good friend, a role model, and someone who would be there for you.
    R.I.P. Ian.

    Hope your day isn’t too hard. Thanks for sharing!


  2. rick g. says:

    Brian, hi, thanks for sending me your blogs, they are interesting to read. Very sorry to hear about your friend. i believe he is with you from time to time. Love attracts even our spirits. By no means to belittle your loss, i would mention here, i have lost many friends, it never gets easier, each one has his and her own individuality. I like to live my life as a celebration of their lives, and call upon them in spirit to remember the times we shared, this keeps them alive in my memory. But for each of us, its different. You’re a good guy, from what little i know of you, so, Ian must of been a good guy as well. So, therefore, you do celebrate His life. Thanks for that. It’s my belief that as you go through life, He can experience more of his life through your ongoing experiences, therefore, he is always with you, and in a real sense, he is still alive… How cool is that. None of this is really any of my business, but i thought i would share a little of my heart on the subject. Thanks for sharing yours as well…Enjoy your life. Peace bro.


  3. Pourang says:

    That was really sad to read.


  4. derrick says:

    he’s greatly missed..


  5. paine says:

    that’s really sad but we live to die so we must go at some point..


  6. terisa blanc says:

    that’s really sad
    but i know god has him in his grace


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