I don’t even know how to start this off..
Lets start off by saying that today has been a year since a friend of mine died..
Ian was someone i was really really close with,he was someone special to me cause of his charismatic and outgoing personality,his way of caring and loving and his humour,everything really.He never wanted anyone to feel left out he was equal with everything and everyone.I got to meet him 2 days after my birthday in hollywood and did the whole 9 out there and got drunk on the streets.I didn’t get to see him as much or hang out with him as much as everyone else did and i know the people that did get to be there with him are shattered because of this but at least i got to meet him.
Losing him was heart wrenching since he was someone i counted on for everything, i trusted him and he trusted me, someone i went to with what was going on with me.He was always there for me and we always came up with all kinds of wild ideas like sharing boyfriends.We could talk about anything and turn it into something huge, which is how we became friends.
The day i found out he died was shocking, so unreal because i had never really lost a friend.I wouldn’t believe anyone until i started getting phone calls and IM’s at 10am.Normally when people die i feel sad but i don’t really cry i try to cause i know you need to get those feelings out there and not bottle something up like that, i feel its wrong.
As I was explaining to my mom what happened it all just came out..I knew then and there that deep down he really did mean a great deal to me..Everyone who he did hang out with though, should of stopped doing what they were doing(whoever knew him knows what im talking about).I would explain what happened because it would make more sense but i don’t believe thats respectable through a blog.The cause of his death should of had everyone thinking twice before doing something and it disappointed me to find out everyone was still keeping on with their habits acting like nothing ever happened and not even showing up to his funeral.I would of taken a fucking bus if i had the money and was able to go..
So what i’m really trying to say is that i miss him more than anything and that i love the boy still.I still keep him on my top friends and go to his page occasionally even though i know he won’t read the comments i post or update his pictures and such..It just makes me feel like he’s still somewhat there..Or at least a part of him.Maybe sometime soon i’ll visit a psychic again or something and see how he’s doing..
(From Left) Ian,Me,Cody, and Eden