So as usual, this year FUCKING SUCKED.i tried making shit happen i really did but ended up with bullshit on my plate with an extra side dish of drama..Im the type of person to make plans about where i want to be in life.I don’t wait last minute to think about what i wanna be or change my mind with what i want to do i think about it think about how i’ll get to it and go after it and thats exactly what i did this year but things literally GOT IN MY WAY.I NEVER let ANYTHING get in my way of doing what needs to get done but unfortunately sometimes family needs you and being there is a must even if i kick and scream theres no point because either way i have to help since im the only one that can.
So besides the fact that im frustrated, i still have my head in the air.I get down thinking about how much shit really happens to me that i don’t say but thats life so why bitch to people about it, they have their own set of problems.YEAH this year hella sucked, people died on me, i barely did anything I wanted to do, i feel like a loser honestly.I get so aggravated when i see people going to college and doing everything they’ve been wanting to do and im still sitting at home TRYING to get somewhere still, struggling in anyway i can to get there and falling right back on my ass.I still remain optimistic though, good quality to have, otherwise id be one of those REALLY annoying people that don’t do anything but talk about their problems and cry about it.
Things i managed to get accomplished this year though were to meet some pretty amazing people.I’m extremely cut off from people.I don’t have much friends AT ALL and barely talk to people I’m pretty kept to myself since i don’t trust anyone with what i tell them unless they prove to be trusworthy or something.The guys i met were the type of guys i’ve wanted in my life for a really long time so im happy for that,hopefully that goes somewhere in the future and if not then life goes on. I won’t ever stop in my tracks for a relationship thats something everyone must know from me.The girls i met were alright i can’t complain some were chill and one was just like me, caring, sweet, and smart.So i feel lucky in the department of friendship.
As far as modeling goes i managed to get SOME shoots in, im scheduled for 2 more in january and then planning to travel far to get with an agency in the summer with the help of a close friend so ‘really hoping that goes through cause if it does then everyones in for a BIG surprise.I have faith in allot of things i want to do no matter how many times i fuck up or fall on my ass im human and humans stand and walk haha! my feet get tired sometimes but i can sit down instead of fall its safer (in other words don’t wait for something to come around and knock you on your ass, avoid a disaster if you see it coming before it does happen). Im a go getter
Next year i just hope its BRIANS year not FAMILY or FRIENDS just brian and what brians wanted to do and what brian FUCKING NEEDS TO GET DONE, LIKE GET A FUCKING JOB! so whatever the universe has intended for me i’ll take and handle like a man not a bitch, whether good or bad its obvious im extremely hard to break and handle my shit with a level head.So cheers to next year, cause im gonna make it mine
fuck bitches get money
Saying Of The Day
–we’re taking over 2010